The Tower: Being Humbled

The Tower

Yep, long time no see. As regular followers would know my Tarot card this year is The Tower. I’ve been forced to put many things on hold to care for a close family member who has a serious health condition. The good news is she finally has the right diagnosis, the right treatment and is sloooooooowly improving, which is awesome. The bad news (for me at least) is that I won’t be able to start publishing my Tarot series until next year.

I was discussing this the other day with one of my best friends. We met when we studied Tarot together over twenty years ago. As far as I’m concerned she’s always been way more talented at reading the cards than me but I’ve worked with them more.

She was like, ‘Duh! You’re more likely to publish under The Star anyway because that card represents manifesting your heart’s desire.’

And I was all ‘No way. The Tower is the lightning strike representing publication.’

I was determined to publish my first e-book just before Christmas this year which is a significant date for me for personal reasons I won’t go into here.

Anyhoo, I finally emailed someone last night to get my manuscript edited – something I’ve been putting off for 6 months. She replied back straight away, a good sign, and sounds lovely, but the kicker is she won’t be able to do it until December – too late for me to get the manuscript ready for publication this year. So that prospect seems dead in the water.

Interestingly, the renovations I was expecting to do under The Tower card ain’t gonna happen till next year either.

So I’ve been reflecting on this fact today, googling The Star and The Tower, trying to work out what this means in terms of The Tower card. And I’m wondering if my friend is right. Maybe next year is when I manifest my heart’s desire: publish a book, finally get to live in a home that is comfortable instead of a dump.

What then does The Tower mean for me?

Last time I had this as my card-of-the-year painful circumstances forced me to truly believe for the first time in my life that people did care about me. What are these circumstances, in which caring for my family is preventing me from publication, asking me to accept?

The thing is I’ve always resented the time my children take up. I felt like they stopped me from fulfilling my dream of becoming a full-time writer. Petty I know. And of course untrue. Plenty of peeps with nippers biting at their heels manage to publish. I could acknowledge that my kids helped me become more grounded, enabling me to write more, but no more. So maybe I needed this point driven home? It’s like The Tower card this year is one giant lesson in showing how much egg I have on my face. That I should never have blamed my kids for my shortcomings – even secretly.

The problem with writing a Tarot blog is there’s no place to hide. Sooner or later you’re going to be forced to confess your worst flaws and most shameful secrets. So there you have it – I’m being well and truly humbled this year and no doubt deservedly so.

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