Feeling Sunburned

Last year was hell. Not in a bad soul-destroying way. More in a carbon being slowly crushed into diamonds from the pressure of 100 miles of the Earth’s crust kinda way. My Tarot Card of the Year was The Sun. So it makes sense…

Let’s be clear. All the cards in the last level of Life Lessons Tarot are hard core. No matter how pretty or calm they appear. Yes, I’m looking at you The Star and The Sun. This level starts with The Devil, so right off the bat you know you’re in trouble. The Devil is followed in order by The Tower, The Star, The Moon, The Sun, Judgement and The World. In other words, to get to The World you have to journey through the pits of hell and then some. You have to eviscerate yourself, pull out all the crap, to truly be at peace with your life.

The Sun is about re-birth. About becoming a better version of yourself. A realer version. It demands that you be who you were truly meant to be. And that can take a sh*tload of work. But this card also teaches you what’s essential to your being, and what’s not. Here’s what happened to me…

I’ve been looking for leadership in my workplace. I didn’t get the position I was after and was angry about that (because even though I read Tarot cards I’m not perfect, surprise!) Last year I was put in charge of a team and a million things went wrong. I won’t bore you with the details, except to say it was exhausting. The lesson? Leadership isn’t easy. It’s made me question whether I really do want leadership in my current workplace. Maybe it’s a good thing I’ve been passed over for promotion.

For the last couple of years I’ve been studying to help improve my career prospects. I’ve been doing really well and then last year came a cropper. When I did one of two core subjects I was given a tutor who didn’t seem to understand me and my work was marked down accordingly. Unfortunately the other core subject I have to do is run by the same person. If I want to finish my degree I’m going to have to suck it up and accept the fact that I’ll probably not do well in that subject, and therefore, the course overall. The lesson? Ongoing study is probably not the path I’m meant to follow (as a Gemini, I’m always tempted!)

I started a small tutoring business last year specialising in children with dyslexia. These students are pretty much ignored in Australian schools, for reasons that are too complicated to go into here. I obtained some clients, even without advertising. I employed a couple of casual workers to help me. Put in hours and hours of resource development. Turns out it’s a lot of work to start up a business. More than I expected. This little side-project kept me veeeeery busy all year long.

On top of all that, I still had a seriously ill family member who needed my regular support. I had significant health issues of my own to manage. And I was given extra work which was good for my CV. So I was a tad busy. That’s what happens when you want to turn yourself into a diamond. Becoming fully yourself doesn’t come without a lot of grit.

Thoughts?

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2 thoughts on “Feeling Sunburned

  1. Well first of all, I love the way you write. You’re also a great story teller and I love that you educate along the way.

    Secondly, it was a bit of a sh*t of a year but this one already feels better, notwithstanding I’ve made the same comment for the last 18 years.

    Anyway, I hope it’s bright and ‘sunny’ for you.

    Thanks for your article.

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