The Tarot of Valentine’s Day

O-oh! Valentine’s Day is almost upon us. You might love it. You might dread it. Either way, it elicits a response.

These are the cards that come to mind when I think of this day…

Two of Cups

A man and a woman exchange cups signifying their feelings for one another. Each stands as tall as the other and shares a cup the same size. They are equals in every way. He remembers to buy her flowers on the way home from work tonight and for once she collects his discarded coffee cups from the lounge room floor instead of nagging him to do it himself.

The Lovers

You’re young and in love. If you’re not exchanging handmade cards and giant teddy bears you’re doing it as many times and in as many ways as your strength will allow. Red lingerie for her and edible condoms for him a plus. Enjoy it while it lasts!

Maybe you’ll even catch a glimpse of this with your significant other…

The Devil: A bit of safe sado-masochism

However, you may be experiencing a very different kind of Valentine today.

Three of Cups

You’ve gone out with your girlfriends to forget about being sad and single for one night and are having a rollicking possibly drunken anti-Valentine’s day instead.


Four of Pentacles Reversed

Your boyfriend’s a stingy bastard who refuses to even say “Happy Valentine’s Day!” let alone buy you a bunch of flowers or take you out for dinner. His flimsy pretext? That the occasion is just a commercial beat-up rip-off which he refuses to take part in. What about my feelings, you ask yourself.

Or maybe…

Five of Cups + The Devil

You’re still mourning the guy/gal who dumped you and broke your heart and choose to spend Valentine’s Day stalking him/her on the internet even though you broke up YEARS ago. I may or may not have been known to do that in the past #guilty.

Could this be you…?

Seven of Cups

You’re juggling so many chicks at the mo you can’t decide which one to take out tonight. They’re all equally hot and equally bonkers in their own way.

Or this…?

Six of Cups

You’ve been waiting for Angelina Jolie/Russell Crowe to ring ever since you heard s/he’d separated from her/his partner because you KNOW you’re meant to be together. You stay home tonight so you don’t miss the call.

Page of Cups Reversed

Your boyfriend lives so far up his own arse he doesn’t even remember you exist half the time let alone that it’s Valentine’s Day.

Or this could be you…

Nine of Pentacles: Independent woman

You couldn’t give a rats about V Day.

Here’s how it’ll be for many of us…

Ten of Cups

You’re happily married but busy raising a family. A date night means holding hands on the sofa while you catch an episode of whatever TV show you usually don’t have time for. He’ll crack a beer, you’ll have a glass of chardonnay.

Do any of these scenarios ring true for you?

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