Nine Of Pentacles: Happily Single

9 Pents

According to TV and the movies and all the most popular novels a happy ending requires that the hero/heroine of the story hooks up with their one true love at the finish. This is the dominant narrative of Western culture. Think Bridget Jones and Mark Darcy or Bella and Edward. Even Katniss ends up with (spoiler alert) Peeta at the finish. Almost every story suggests that you’re only going to live happily ever after if you’re partnered.

But I (and the Nine of Pentacles card) would like to politely disagree. As someone with a lot of experience in this area I don’t necessarily think that being single makes you unhappy.  And umpteen psychological studies have also said it’s not the lack of a partner but the lack of relationships in general that doom you to gloom. The woman in the Nine of Pentacles card is alone but look at the richness of her life as demonstrated by the beautiful garden she has grown. Look at the smile on her face. Tarot is definitely not anti-single.

Both my daughters are in long term relationships but apart from being accidentally married for seven years (it’s a long story) I’ve spent most of my life on my own. And you know what, despite what Hollywood and fairytales would have you believe, I actually kinda like it. You can hog the whole bed to yourself, cook whatever the hell you feel like for dinner and spend your leisure time pursuing activities you enjoy rather than ones you are pretending to enjoy for someone else’s sake. That’s not to say I’m anti-men. My ex-husband is very much a part of my extended family. We have raised our children together. Just not in the same house. Some people (aka me) just aren’t built to co-habitate.

This feels a bit like a whispered confession. Happy and single are two words that you don’t hear put together in a sentence very often. Like it’s verboten. But I know there are others out there like me. Care to share your stories with the rest of us? (So I don’t look like a complete lone wolf!)

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